Dear Ridiculously Good Looking Man...

You intimidate the crap out of me.  I hate that.  I am a bumbling idiot around you.  And it doesn't help that you're brilliant and witty and perfect in every way.  In any case, if you could please break your nose or get a really bad haircut of some kind or even just turn out to be a huge jerk I'd really appreciate it.  That way, I won't feel so absolutely smitten by you and I can silence the little voice in my head that says you're way out of my league and replace it with a confident "you're not all that"...snap, snap...

Thanks.

Love,

Me